Awww what

how am I so much better at poker online?
i mean sure, it's not real money and it's not in person, but i think busting 5 games in a row in real life is still unwarranted if I managed to bust the same guy 6 times in one sitting online.

Hi Song. 45 minutes from joining I now have four times your number of chips on zynga.

Uncool, yo. Whatever the case, the jet lag somehow managed to get worse upon coming back to this fiery rock. I'm not even fazed here and I usually start getting drowsy around 1.

In unrelated news, band got cancelled yay, so did a planned outing boo. I guess we'll have to wait for everybody to come back from over yonder before we do anything then, which is fine by me i suppose. I don't think I got enough stuff from Canada to throw at people though, that's not good.

Mmm, noodle soup.

Kudos to anybody who knows where the title was quoted from. Singapore is humid like nothing else, and coming here after Canada feels like I'm moving in and breathing soup. I love it thank you.

ahhhhhhhh, jet lag can be a bitch. First thing i do when i come back is bathe, spend an hour watching tv without pants on (BECAUSE I CAN. Also because I miss being able to prance about in clothing that doesn't engulf my legs and make them itch) and fall asleep for 10 hours. I then wake up at 3 am wondering what in hell just happened and realise I left the computer on whoops. Hey, the trip may have bitten cock but I got to watch a shit load of movies and TV in the plane! This may or may not include an episode of Kim Possible.

I do miss the good music in Canada, even though I swear that country is about 10-20 years backwards when it comes to the subject: I didn't hear a single Lady GaGa or Pixie Lott song during my stay there - which is a good thing, I guess.

In other news, band starts again on wednesday tomorrow but I'm not going cause they can all fuck off and eat shit. Don't be mistaken - I hold no animosity towards band I just don't want to go, and I often mistake inappropriate swearing for cynical humour hence the previous sentence. Now to play poker on facebook.

EDIT: But before that, I have to note that there's got to be something in Canada that gives people larger boobs and makes them a lot taller, hotter and friendlier (besides the genes, of course). Like the second thing that went through my head when I arrived at the airport was "THESE WOMEN ARE TALLER THAN ME."; the first being "FUCK IT'S COLD." and the third being "WHY ARE THE PEOPLE HERE HOTTER THAN ANYBODY I KNOW IN SINGAPORE."

Boytalk over: is time for poker.

I am in Starbucks

is kinda cool doing the internet in a public place. Every now and then I just assume somebody's looking over my shoulder and write something to let him know I'm on to him. That means you, blonde dude. Merry Christmas. There's also a kid behind me complaining about how they've been shopping all day and his dad's reprimanding him.

One thing I can actually say that I like about Canada is that all the music I hear in the stores are songs that I like. First thing playing when i walked into the supermarket was Enter Sandman, followed by some Bon Jovi and right now there's a certain Corinne Bailey Rae song playing in the backgound at Sudo Starbucks. Other than that, my hot chocolate's cold and I'm waiting for my mom to finish shopping so i can go back and play ODST on the 360 back at the house.

Funny thing about playing shooters is that when you play more than one within the span of a couple of games, you mix up the controls and start chucking frags when you want to reload in Modern Warfare; or go epileptic with your gun when you're trying to crouch in Halo; or zooming in when you're trying to lob a grenade in Borderlands. Or forgetting that the fucking ODSTs can't sprint for some reason and start crouching like a spaz. Can't these games just agree on one scheme? Bastards. At least let us customize our controls, 2K.

Anyway, I think I've done enough bitching posts within the past few days, being morbidly unhappy while in this country. Enough bitching has been done, now it's Christmas and I shall be happy. Finding presents is always tough for me cause I insist that I get my friends something I think would be a cool present, of which there are only a few. Gneh. There was a dreamcatcher on sale next door, I think I might get that. Dreamcatchers are cool, right?

So.

So before this trip to Canada everybody was telling me "Hey at least you're going somewhere." or "Canada's nice!" So I figured: Hey, maybe I'll try to enjoy it this time, I can't do anything about it right. Well no, I could have done something about it, I just didn't. Naturally, I only blog when I'm angry enough to be able to think of something to write about, so I'm here to tell you that you were all fucking wrong and this place bites so much cock that fireants-down-underwear doesn't even come close.

Okay, the people here are great, they're friendly and helpful and whatever; just that the act of being in this country somehow gives God reason to have a personal vendetta against me. Every day that I'm here something worse happens to me; i've only been here for 3 days and I have the strongest urge to off somebody. I'm not discouraging you from taking a vacation in this country, it's a fucking nice place, just that the only way you're getting me back here is threatening to cut my balls off with a rusty spoon.

it's not enough that i miss caroling, JCPBF and christmas dinner for sitting on my frozen ass blogging at 3 am local time, no; I have to stumble upon one of my mom's emails that sends me down depression lane and lose 20 bucks to a royal flush in poker.

A bleeding royal flush, do you know what the odds of getting a royal flush are? 1 in 649 000. If that doesn't seem like much to you - I'd have 169 times the odds of impregnating somebody on birth control pills while using a condom.

I'm more likely to die from a catastrophic asteroid strike.

A woman would have a higher chance of not being molested on the Tokyo subway in a public carriage.

God hates me. You see where optimism gets you? Canada. Optimism gets you in Canada - frozen, pissed off and missing Christmas dinner.

Fukeneh!

That's what it says on this shot glass i got. Fukeneh! If you don't get it then god help you.

Being jetlagged really gives you a lot of time to ponder the mysteries of life while you're lying awake in the middle of night. Or at least enough time to realise how much you're missing just to be dragged off to Canada against your own will.

JC Band fest; caroling; christmas, new years and their dinners - this snowboarding shit better be good, cause I'm not digging the cold so much, no. Worst bit is that I have absolutely nothing to do on the flight  back, I ran out of movies to watch on the way here.

Well hey, on the bright side, 500 days of Summer is the best movie I've watched in a while. Better than the Public Enemies nonsense my classmates dragged me to because they wanted to drool over Johnny Depp and Christian Bale, you bastards.

Canada isn't all that bad, though, it may be biting cold but the snow makes the scenery purty and stuff; and the people here actually talk, you know, not like back home where the most conversation i could get from a stranger would be cursing at their driving. In any case, I'm waiting for the snowboarding to make me feel all better. I hope.

EDIT: Eggnog tastes like rank milk with sugar.

EDIT#2sin(π/2): Yeah the post is exactly the same as the note i did on facebook. 

make it so.

I find it both kind of cool and somewhat disturbing that one of the longest, un-awkward conversations i've had about sex with someone was with a girl. I always sort of thought it would be pretty the damn strange to hold that sort of conversation with someone of the opposite sex; apparently not.
Well, not as much as I thought, at least.

In other news, I've been waking up early recently for some reason, and it's nice in the morning and all but I'm really unamusedly sleepy cause I go to sleep at 1. I feel like a noodle with noodles for limbs.

Anyway, I've earned myself a videogame post, i think. So, Borderlands! Diablo with guns, pretty much, and the whole game is filled with all sorts of shout-outs that only the nerd community of which I belong to would actually understand. There's a shield in-game called the cracked sash, some boss monster called Rakkinishu and some dude named Jaynis Kobb, among other things I probably haven't found yet but would giggle like a girl at. It's a very funny game.

I'm waiting to see if they named anybody John Luke Pikard. I would laugh myself to death. Damn French!

Also, see post below.

Because I can

also because I'm going to canada soon against my own free will and I don't think I could finish it by then (I spent twelve hours on this shit. go figure.)

merry fucking christmas.

Try the other side.

Me: See? 'Tear here', you were opening it from the wrong end. Idiot.
Someone else: NO I WILL TEAR WHEREVER THE FUCK I WANT YOU CONFORMIST BITCH.

Or so it went.

I think philosophy is interesting; very interesting, in fact. Problem is, several days after I'm done whoring out wikipedia about it I usually suddenly forget everything I read. I've spent half a day reading up on Nietzsche and Kierkegaard and existentialism and nihilism and categorial imperatives and whathaveyou, only to completely forget it all 2 weeks later. I mean I don't think it's particularly applicable or useful, but it's interesting at the very least and if I can't even remember details about stuff I'm actually interested in then this is probably why I'm bad at my studies.

Call it an excuse but... uh. So, yeah.

"But Justin!" you ask, "Whoever in hell is Kierkegaard?" To which my answer is, "I haven't the slightest fuck of a clue either! Why, you ask? Because my memory is full of shit, that's why!"

If there's anything at all that An Education taught me, it's that we're all exceptionally dense until we haul our asses out of school and into society, so I'm still holding out for when I graduate to see if I stop being retarded. What I do know is that these memory lapses are why I resent holding any kind of leadership position that requires me to commit myself to work for long periods of time, because after a while the memory bit of my brain liquefies and dribbles out of my ears and I can't remember whatever on earth I was supposed to be doing. Furthermore, subsequent questions about the matter are usually met with a "Bwuuh?" of such magnitude that I can't possibly sound sincere; then I get fucked up the ass for neglecting my work.

I'm also supposed to be doing something now. I just can't remember what it is god I'm screwed.

funny thing

Funny thing about my hair: it never listens to me until the exact moment when it doesn't need to be neat. Similarly, I can't be serious until shit stops being real; I can't concentrate unless it's something that has absolutely no consequence to anything that is remotely related to me and/or my wellbeing; I can't do homework until it's overdue etc etc. Maybe I (and my hair) have some pathological need to completely uninterested in the situation at hand, i don't know.






Lolno, I'm just a lazy bugger.

I've also spent the last couple days reading tvtropes and cracked.com so I'm loaded up on completely useless information. Is funny stuff, I can't bring myself to stop reading. It's like wikipedia, except a lot more fun and without citations needed.

I also learned a lot more about myself and it's pretty startling to realise how much some of the archetypes describe people you know. Hi, Jonathan; I know you're reading this.

I hate -all your faces-

I'm so unamused right now I'd make Teller seem talkative and cheerful. I spent the first one and a half hours of today and 11 bucks going to outram, doing absocomposilutely nothing for a grand total of 5 minutes, then taking a taxi back.

To top it off it's free shipping for US$75 and above on threadless and I can't find anybody who wants to buy; and there's like 2 left of the size and design that I want.

I dare say I would kill somebody for the sake amusement right now.

I'm running out of things to make titles. Besides vaginas.

I'm going to try at some point in time ending all my statements with 'besides vaginas', because it is at this moment my favourite quote in the world. Besides vaginas.

Anyway I'm obligated to do this advertising thing for paperchain and if I'm all sarcastic about it unspecified person will scold me for not acting excited and enthusiastic about it; so I'm gonna get this over with and then go back to doing other things. Besides vaginas.


Anyway! What we really need right now is volunteers to do this 24-hour monster of a chain made entirely out of paper and little bits of metal, so sign up now! NOW. Then in 60 years, you'll be telling your grandchildren how you totally helped out and did awesome stuff (besides vaginas). That is assuming, of course, that you ever get laid.

WHAT ABOUT?
An environmental and completely youth-run event aimed at record-breaking, raising funds for reforestation and reaching out to the public on the cause of paper conservation.Our 3-part programme includes:
1. Breaking the record for world's longest PaperChain using waste paper collected in our recycling campaigns
2. Raising funds for WWF Singapore through a Pay-per-chain donation drive and token donations at our booth
3. Fringe activities such as an exhibition booth by WWF Singapore and performances by local bands and singers (to be named soon!)

WHAT FOR?
 To raise $45,000 for WWF Singapore’s reforestation programmes
 To construct a 90km-long PaperChain out of waste paper
 To attract at least 1,000 youths to the event in addition to the 100 involved in record-breaking
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Come and join in the action. Get your fingers green and your face grinning!

PAPERADE will be a big and smashin' event. We need happy funky people (you know you are one!) to help us out, and share the excitement. Are you game for it? There are 3 positions available - Runners, Chainers and Adverstisers. See job descriptions below to find out more. On top of a great experience on the job, your salary will come in the form of food, drinks, good music and a tee-shirt.
Description of roles
Runners- Help us "run" the event by literally running errands with our OICs. Must be smooth to ensure smooth-running and success of PAPERADE
Chainers- Physically construct the record-breaking PaperChain. A glamorous but gruelling task.
Advertiser- Run down the streets of Orchard to spread the word! Sandwich board provided.

Sign up now!
Contact projectpaperchain@gmail.com to sign up now!
Download the forms from http://www.projectpaperchain.com/
Email the completed form to us or hand it personally to anyone on the team.

CONTACT US
If you have questions, comments, ideas, or anything at all, do not hesitate to contact us at projectpaperchain@gmail.com or any of our team members' email addresses. We would love to hear from you!

In particular: I would love to hear from you because it will amuse me how much you're willing to do for CIP hours make me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside to know that the youth are becoming so proactive when dealing with worldly issues.


Besides vaginas.

well.

I remembered why I didn't really like going to the paperchain sessions anymore - when I'm around large groups of people I tend to annoy and lose friends. But today wasn't so bad, I only lost about 2 or so, maybe.
We also went to Kbox to sing and be retarded, and I think I destroyed my vocal cords as well as any self-confidence I may have had left for the day, hahaha. Love song is one bitch of a song for a guy to sing. Either way, I had fun, I dunno if anybody else did though. Like I said, annoy and lose.

In other news, gym hurts.

Oh right

Barbecue happened yesterday, courtesy of Shaun Woo. You know whenever I'm at a barbecue I have this nagging need to be the one doing all the barbecuing, which usually leaves me without much left to eat, or without time to eat it. Something about standing in front of burning charcoal while attempting to cook meat without searing my hand off appeals to some strange, oppressed part of me that only comes out during barbecues. I'm fucking strange.

I was also half-expecting to be thrown into the pool and brought some extra clothes for absolutely no reason cause nothing happened to me. Amos got pushed in like twice though, cause Dennis is an evil, evil bitch.

Oh dear god

I've probably mentioned this plenty of times but I write like a douchebag half the time. I have good mind to delete every single post I'm absolutely not proud of. Which I actually already did.

and by 'douchebag' I don't mean 'asshole'. I'm always an asshole. I mean more on the lines of that I can't write for bollocks because my blog title is only one letter away from 'Autisms' and that kind of thing refuses to leave me alone when I'm writing.

Deleting time, ho. From now on, I'm never blogging unless I'm nearly asleep. Makes for less awkward attempts to try and be a little more correct - politically or otherwise.

And I have to stop talking about video games.

I noticed something about myself

That I've noticed before but never really talked about. When somebody texts me or pings me on MSN I am compelled to reply as quickly as possible, call it my MUD* reflexes but it's dejecting sometimes in those conversations where the opposing party is the exact opposite of you and replies every 10 minutes. Makes me feel unwanted and unloved and sad and all that nonsense.

It also just occurred to me that almost none of you would know what a MUD is, so I'm gonna footnote it. Great fun. I used to play them lots cause roleplaying is teh shit and when it's all text it severely reduces the number of douchebags that decide to join. Those years being lifeless has conditioned me to compulsively reply quickly to text prompts. Guh. I'm gonna do other things now.

*MUD (Multi-User Dungeon):  a MUD (multi-user dungeon), pronounced /mʌd/, is a multi-user real-time virtual world described entirely in text. It combines elements of role-playing games, hack and slash, interactive fiction, and online chat. Players can read descriptions of rooms, objects, other players, non-player characters, and actions performed in the virtual world. Players interact with each other and the world by typing commands that resemble a natural language. /from wikipedia.

Ugh

My mom took me to go eat at Ichiban Boshi today. That was quite possibly the most unpleasant meal I've ever had the displeasure of having to force down. The place was cold, the food sucked and at the end of lunch I actually wanted to vomit it out so I could eat something that wasn't so disgusting.

In other news, I finished Mass Effect today. It seems like a great game at first but after a while you start to realise that it isn't exactly what it's cut out to be and gets on your nerves a lot more than it should. Kind of like a new spouse. It's not a bad game though, it's actually good, except that it's incredibly annoying; Bioware trademark, I suppose.

Now I'm gonna play Halo wars just to see how bad it is.

Wow

Who knew this bilingualism thing could actually be useful. Wei Chuen introduced me to Omegle.com, and I connected with this dude in China. We ended up speaking different languages to each other, and it was possibly one of the most bizarre and bilingual conversations I've ever been in. It wasn't that boring either.

Great fun. It's also freaking long, so to read the whole thing, there should be a read more button somewhere.

MASS EFFECT

Mass effect? Mass effect!

Mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect mass effect.
This game is SO AWESOME, that they put ELEVATOR MUSIC in it and it DIDN'T STOP BEING AWESOME.


Wrex is -fucking hilarious-

EDIT: I'd also like to take this opportunity to thank the makers of Assassin's Creed 2 for not pulling such faggotry as making your health regenerate faster than you can wank. The concept of only having a bit of your health bar replenishable at a time was great, especially when they came up with it two bleeding decades ago. I don't know what possessed which idiot to remove the need for health bars in games, I mean it works in Halo cause it's sci-fi and sci-fi is the pinnacle of gratuitous bullshit so they can just invent something that makes it happen.
But in something like Modern Warfare where the warfare is presumably supposed to be modern, regenerating health doesn't make any sense. If you got shot five times in the chest I don't care if you're hiding behind a wall, you're not going to get better; in fact you're going in quite the opposite direction of better, if you didn't already notice that you're bleeding all over everything.

If you didn't already know

I'm a sucker for harmonized songs. I love them simply because harmony is fun. I also lately realised that the final bit of 'I love you always forever' by Donna Lewis has two melodies going on; so I did what could be one of the gayest things possible and did to it what I did Peggy-O a couple months ago last month. Whoops.

I am obligated to uphold the notion that I have very little shame over the internet, so here you go. I'm going to beat my head against my desk while you listen; and just for good measure, here's the other one.

Oh yeah, I messed up the sync about 3 quarters in but it's like 25 seconds long anyway so, ehh.

Grunting is manly

Justin: i mean I've never been so sure. about someone. is that just hormones talking. i sound like a girl.
Justin: i'm going to stop sounding like a girl now. Grunting is manly. *grunt*
Someone: HURR.
Justin: HHHHHHNNGH
Someone: HOOHAH.
Justin: GGNNAH
Someone: POTATO CHIPS.
Justin: MONKEYS
Justin: THIS IS GOING ON MY BLOG

What can I say.

Good lord

I know it's the internet so this statement is redundant, but people are so fucking stupid.
So I'm playing this multiplayer thing, and this dude declares war on some guy in my guild then proceeds to attack him. So this other guy in my guild obviously can't stand the sight of this and proceeds with this lengthy argument as to why there is need for the attacking and the bloodshed and the hitting.
Turns out the dude being attacked is a sneaky bastard (which earns some kudos from me) and joined just to have the protection of all of us after whacking one of their members.

Now wanting to counterattack is a perfectly legitimate reason for attacking, and wanting to protect a guild member is a perfectly legitimate reason for defending him. Only problem is, my guildmates think that counterattacking is completely idiotic and that we should only defend the guy in our guild because the attacker's a dumbass.

What fuck here happen?

I have a couple of points to make. Firstly, sure the guy sounded like a dyslexic 5 year old with braces and a speech impediment but English isn't his native tongue so we can't say anything about that. Secondly, since when was counterattacking a bad idea? The tactic has only existed since, oh i don't know, forever. Even nature thought of it, making animals that secrete poison or plants that have thorns and whatever the hell else you can think of to prevent the result of being eaten.
Thirdly, it's a video game for christ's sake. The amount of shit we should give is about none of the amount they're giving, there's nothing wrong with just popping our troops in to defend and watching the sod suffer.

God, maybe the world will end in 2012 from the sheer amount of stupid it's under stress from.

I guess I should make good on the last post

There once was a boy adolescent
Who used to play Halo incessant
But his friends are dicks
And miserly pricks
And didn't want to buy it so they left him to play ODST by himself with no friends present

Today he had an opportunity
To have fun at the beach playing frisbee
But he's freaking slow
Only now does he know
He shouldn't have gone for Jap at 6.30

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

i saw a group

I saw a group on facebook, titled "Being nice is NOT flirting."

I would like to take this opportunity to say the complete opposite, being the critical bitch that I am. Flirting is NOT being nice, and people just have the tendency to mix up the two. I, for one, have such a problem, so I've bound myself into assuming that everybody is just being nice to me.

I do not advise this course of action for anybody who doesn't have a penis, because if you're a girl you are instantly even more susceptible to flirting, and if you think everybody's being nice to you then you're gonna get fucked.

Quite literally.

Well okay not really, I'm blowing this out of proportion but it pains me to see flirty bitches being written off as nice and nice bitches being written off as flirty. I'm sure there's some sort of similar problem pertaining to girls flirting with guys but like I said I'm completely oblivious to it and from what I've observed girls don't do so much of the 'acting nice' gag. So if any female wants to take up the offer of talking about it then enlighten me cause I regret being unable to be my critical bitch self about the issue.

EDIT: Aww damn and I swore to swear less (heh). I should cut down on the swearing. But did you know that it's scientifically proven that swearing reduces stress? So fuck you.

EDIT 二番: Because I'm hilariously bored, I'm going to try writing my next post in multi-versed limerick. Look forward to it.

To Granary Is Food.

TGIF?

So we had Jap class today at 6.30 pm, right. And I have to be at band camp at 8 am tomorrow, right. And it's past midnight now and I should be sleeping, right. And I lost my consent form which means I'm gonna get shit from the teacher, right. There was a point in there somewhere but I think I missed it.

So after Jap class I was waiting out by the bus stop, and there's this hot chick who looks my-age-ish who's half-talking to her friend, and I think to myself "Daaaaayum." Then I realise she's looking at me, at which I look away and think "Awesome, she's checking me out."
So now that I'm at home and I had a little time to ponder over it while writing this post, it's either that or she was just trying to read the small print on my shirt which had "I'M HARD to work with." plastered on its front. Or, you know, she thought I was creepy. But how many girls would continue looking at a guy until the car he's in drives past her field of vision if they think he's creepy, huh.

I like to believe she was checking me out.

Freaking smoking hot, too.

I can dream.

EDIT: Oh yes, I forgot:
 Whats-her-name from Para-Ten, the link to the comic is on the right somewhere. I realise I drew her eyes all screwed up and forgot the funny blue bit of her outfit but sod off.

Blurble glurb.

Stupid enter button made me post this thing without text the first time.
Anyway, I'm horrendously tired right now and I'm gonna try and finish a post before i pass out on my keyboavbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb

The Periodic Doodle

I figured making it a sidebar was stupid cause I want to keep the pictures up so I'll make them a label, so here, I did this while not sleeping last night. The quality's bad and screwy because I'm a lazy bitch and didn't want to scan it in so i took a photo and screwed around with the contrast and brightness settings.

Momohime from Muramasa: The Demon Blade.
H Pencil, cause I couldn't find my other non-H pencils.

And this is yesterday's. Because I can.
Permanent marker on plastic... thing.















I practice Japanese every time I draw a character from a Japanese game, yes. Shut it.

I'm so adjective, I verb nouns!

I can't stop giggling at the title, giggle giggle. I stole it, btw, so not mine; and yes, technically 'adjective' is a noun but you don't have to be such a wet blanket about it.

so it seems that once I get an ass load of free time everybody else isn't thrilled by the idea of my talking to them :(
I'm so misunderstood /corner
I guess I'm also very annoying when I start on a topic I actually have interest in, so fine then, be that way. Jerks.

paragraphing is fun, whee.

paragraph.

paragraph.

paragraph.

As you can tell I'm possibly the least occupied creature on the fucking planet at the moment. Oh such joy there is in sitting on my chafed ass trying to think of the slightest thing that I would find more entertaining than sitting on my chafed ass trying to think of the slightest thing that I would find more entertaining than doing all this.

Everybody I know in person would tell me to get a life. Some dudes I know in Indiana, Arizona and California would tell me to get a girl.

I don't know, don't they come mutually inclusive or something?

Boredom.

boring boredom. of boring-nicity. that's what I'm experiencing now.

I don't even have anything interesting to write about.

...I don't know why I'm even posting this.

Last post of swear-embargo

And you all lucky for it. I feel particularly sweary today.

Today I shall say very little and give you all a quote, after which I will link as many girls to this post as possible, and so should you. I just want to understand why this is, girls, why

From bash.org:
"DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired."

I have to learn how to play the harmonica

you know, to make up for the fact that I can only play the clarinet with reasonable skill, and also because harmonicas are sexy.

that's really all I had to say, besides that tomorrow's the last day of my time wearing that blasted blue tie, woo. Wei Yang that RI boy is leaving for RI and Song Jing that boy is leaving for Songjingland, won't be seeing them next year in school, unfortunately. Still! Holidays are for the being social (antisocial if you're Joel), so many outings will be had, I think.

But their leaving isn't so bad, means we get less competition for the chicks. Amirite.

Optimistic, that's me!

It's funny, you know.

I realise that I write the best when I'm as mentally and physically taxed as possible without passing out. Before lit finals this year, i got 4 hours of sleep in the morning and was sick when sitting for both papers; It's the highest grade I've gotten all year.

So from now on before I write anything I make sure I'm not thinking as clearly as I should be, no matter what it takes. Most of the time it's being sleepy.

Of course when you can't think straight whatever you're feeling tends to bloat into uncontrollable emotion, so I'll seem very bipolar but oh well. For safety's sake, I'm going to rip out the 'f', 'u', 'c' and 'k' letters out of my keyboard for the rest of the post.

Now I now I tal a lot abot video games already and it maes me sond so nerdy, God, bt when I was a yonger one o my avorite games o all time was Poemon. Livia wold now that also. The best version o it I thin wold be Gold and Silver, so I don't now why the I only ind ot that they were remaing both a ew months beore English release.

Now I'm a very sentimental gy - I ried when I had to swith shools bease o GEP in P4, I won't deny it, thogh I don't regret it - so even something as hildish, lihed and overdone as Poemon has a speial plae in my heart, and I pray to God that they won't mae anymore or I'll rn ot o money. Exept i they remae Yellow, in whih ase I will ry nrelenting tears o both joy and shame or how I'm sh a loser.

Anyway, last 4 days o shool oming p, woot! I'm now being all nostalgi abot my last or years in this shool, bt it isn't so bad ase I'm gonna be here or another 2 ing years anyway. On the p side, girls! Onwaaarrd

I'm looking back at my old posts

and I think my writing's been getting exponentially worse. This may or may not be due to nearly giving myself a light concussion while trying to learn how to kip up; and also may or may not be due to the fact that this year has probably been more mentally and emotionally taxing than talking to Jonathan for 20 minutes.

Oh, right, i have to learn my bleeding hiragana.

You know, guys, just because I'm learning the language doesn't mean I have to be as enthu and obsessive over it as all of you are. I can't believe that you all try to make me feel inadequate and try to be funny by telling me that I haven't memorized my hiragana as quickly as you have.

It actually only disables my ability to retort because my head is filled with thoughts of how big of a dumbass you are and how much you don't fucking get it.

Humour has to be situational. The best humour you find out there deals with popular culture or recent/famous events, because everybody knows about them. If I walk myself into a joke then shame on me, if the opportunity for a joke about me presents itself then sucks to be me; but you can't suddenly bring up a joke about my indonesian relatives in the middle of math class and expect anybody to find it even mildly amusing.

That's not being funny, that's being a total prick, really, you can't deal a blow any lower or go any shallower than you already are if you have to resort to bringing up random things about somebody else's heritage in a way that's meant to be derogatory and play dumb about it to try to be funny.

On the exact same hand but maybe a different finger, telling me that I'm a loser cause I haven't spent my time mugging a Japanese course that you are masturbating over is possibly one of the fucking stupidest things I've ever heard.

"Hey Justin, I bet I can wank faster than you can."
"Oh, really now. Tell me why the fuck I'd care, please."
"Haha, I bet you wank real slow, what a loser."

Ooh well lookie here

I've been playing so much Halo 3 and ODST and doing so many exams that i totally forgot that this thing even existed.

Oh, yeah, I got ODST. And I finished the campaign. The ending wasn't exactly what I hoped it'd be, and the final firefight was a landfill worth of boring compared to the joyous banshee obliterating fun I had earlier as a black dude with a sniper rifle. Oh well, at least Vergil is adorable.

Anyway the exams are over and I'm not even going to begin talking about how I did cause I don't want to think about it, so PARTY TIME, BITCHES.

The Bungie.net card thing

You know I actually had no idea that I could do that.
Funkeh.

I am still undoubtably, out of everybody I know, king of forceful vehicle operator removal. I am awesome.

Let us speculate

I believe that after 4.54 billion years, God has gotten pretty bored. After the making of the Earth, creating life, and the birth and death of Jesus, he ran out of things to do, so he decided to let us kill ourselves.

We are, however, taking way too much time to die, so he decided every now and then to come in and nudge us along, much like how you set your city on fire and watch it burn to the ground in SimCity. This resulted in things such as the Great Depression, World War II, George W. Bush and the internet. But somehow we managed to turn all of them around with the intervention of (ironically)World War II, nukes, the presidential term and porn, respectively. So this time God pulled a double Shyamalan on us and created a problem we can't possibly solve without nuclear genocide - he introduced the internet to morons. Very cunning, if you ask me.

This has resulted in Lolcats, 2G1C and Mousehunt. Why do I think God did it, you ask? Because I refuse to believe that he would make a bunch of people who complain that they - for 3 hours a week - are unable to click a fucking button every fifteen minutes without the intent of having half the population go apeshit and murdering the other half in hope of cleansing the world of these wastes of resources.

I don't know.

I'm starting to sing with myself now. Not to myself, no, with myself. Considering doing anything of the sort to myself is sign of insanity, this can't be a good thing.

All I need now is to learn to play the guitar.

One more thing!

One more thing that i don't understand is those people who harbour some sort of resentment towards a given article that makes minced dick out of one of their favourite pass-times/porn stars, yet can't accumulate enough (figurative) balls to give the writer a straight 'fuck you'.

Of course, the guy who does give a straight 'fuck you' is also an idiot, but at the very least has more figurative testicles than the guy who hides behind a pretense of politeness that is obviously there to try to 'be the bigger man' and 'be objective'.

First of all, 'being the bigger man' means jack shit on the internet, cause the person you're conversing with may very well have a vagina and you wouldn't even know. My disregard of figures of speech aside, trying to 'be the bigger man' ends up sounding incredibly condescending most of the time and comes off as trying way too hard not to show that you actually want to grind his face into the pavement. There is only one given exception to this, and that exception is when the article you're so pissed off at was written by a fucking idiot.

Secondly, but definitely not least(ly), you can't 'be objective' because the fact that the article pissed you off means that you disagree with him, jackass. I read something online that dissed the shit out a particular game for humours sake, talking about how everybody who played it was a complete idiot and had no life, and WoW was it funny; one of the comments could be summarized by "That was hilarious lol but I have a life I play sports and have a family. Your last two points were good ones, though."

For one, you're trying to prove to someone that you have a life over the internet, which by all reasonable understanding is completely contradictory. For two, it's the fucking internet, who do you have to prove yourself to? Not like they know you or anything, screw them. The very fact that you're defending yourself against that means three things:
1. You're an idiot.
2. Your self-esteem must be somewhere in the 13th circle of hell.
3. You're an idiot.

Furthermore, if you went through all the trouble of trying to disprove the article, saying that he makes a couple of good points would be counterproductive, you think? Imagine for a moment that someone tells you that your babymaker is shorter than 6 inches (girls must do this too), then you say, "Well I have an average sized lovestick, you know, cause the worldwide average is around 5.5, not 6. But I guess you're a little bit right."

That's like saying "No I'm not an idiot, but I guess I am a little bit of one."

Doesn't work, friend. Your vagplug is still shorter than 6 inches, and the other guy's still right, with the added bonus of knowing that you're an utter dumbass.

Edit: Feel free to go rancorous over this post and prove me right again kthx.

I learned something new today

That the Spartan Laser's official name is the Weapon/Anti-Vehicle Model 6 Grindell/Galileian Nonlinear Rifle. Also known as the WAV M6 GGNoR.
Also known as the Windows AntiVirus Model 6 Good Game no Remake.

P.S. I lied about talking about Jew's Clues. Tough luck.

Rocktober

October means that exams are near oh no I'm screwed, and I've still got to stay back on monday to finish my final piece for art. Feh.

October also means that exams will be over soon woohoo I can buy ODST.

I haven't finished it because Derek had to take it back a day after we borrowed it :/. Total shit, now I have no idea what happens in the end, and I was only 2 missions from it. But it's a very nice game - the campaign, firefight, the mythic disk (which I didn't actually load in so I'll have to wait till i buy it).

You know how Halo always had awesome campaigns with vehicle sequences and on-foot sequences in good moderation? ODST now has on-foot sequences, vehicle sequences, and fuckin CSI sequences, baby. CAD makes good comic about it, go read. It's both completely ridiculous and fun at the same time, I've always hated the bits in Halo where your marines all kick it and you're alone against a bajillion brutes with an assault rifle and a battle rifle with 6 bullets, but this time it's different: there're only about a zillion brutes which you can avoid if you're patient enough, while through the day sequences you'll be finding yourself buddies every so often so you're not usually going rambo like a dumbass.

I'll talk about Jew's Clues next time, brainchild of everybody at the lunch table this afternoon.

Principles of life.

I have several.


1. Honesty is more important than anybody's self esteem (excluding mine of course).
2. Fun > money when money > 0. Otherwise money > fun.
3. Never force your opinion onto somebody else unless their decision can potentially screw them over (smoking, doing drugs, drawing penises on their answer script, reading twilight)
4. Nobody fucks with my friends except their friends.
5. The Master Chief is better than Bub and Bob.
6. Han shot first because I can't remember the other guy's name.
7. Don't judge people until spending at least 2 hours in their presence, though it usually doesn't matter because they're all assholes anyway.
8. To the males it might concern: Don't touch me in inappropriate places, don't kiss me, none of your bodily fluids shall come in contact with me, and you will have nothing to do with my anus. Other than that it's cool.
9. Not even girls may have anything to do with my anus. Exit only.


and finally 


10. If Mygirlfriend > 0, Mygirlfriend > Yourgirlfriend

Lol NJC

Now I have something to blog about, yay!

It's their schoolwork, if anything blame the dudes who set the curriculum, I dunno what they were thinking. Joanne tells me that they're supposed to plan how to take over a school, and these guys so happened to pick ours. And post it on facebook. Which was, in my honest opinion, quite a dumb move. Pretty easy to misinterpret, and all.
But chill, guys, chill. It r k. Don't tie your balls in a knot over it.

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=156817&id=546506250&ref=nf
That's the thing I'm referring to.
Seriously. It's schoolwork.

10 Things I don't understand.

Neo-conservatives
It's new and conservative at the same time. I don't know how that's supposed to work.

An award winner presenting the awards.
"...Ah Lian from class 5.19; and myself, Ah Kow. I will also be presenting the challenge trophy to the the principal."

Celebrity charity drives and organisations
Donating $10000 to charity even though they earn roughly US$5 mil per year and have a hot husband/wife and 2 dogs and 5 cats and 7 cars and 9 fish ponds and 58 man servants and 300 fish and an immeasurable number of Swedish of sex slaves. And no kids.

Women
I don't get it.

Kanye West
"I'm happy for you, I'ma let you finish."

Nucular
North Korea has many nucular weapons.

The Scottish
Cause nobody can actually understand them. Except other Scots.

High School Musical
It's clearly a movie. Dude.

High School Musical 2
Still a movie. Still annoying.

High School Musical 3
Dear lord why?!

Who needs a SNAG

When you've got the INAG. People nowadays are swooning and dribbling over Sensitive New Age Guys, but tell me, if everybody becomes sensitive and new age, where's the novelty? That's why we need more Insensitive New Age Guys.

Way better than SNAGs, INAGs, contrary to what the name suggests, do care about how you feel, they just don't act upon that care very much. INAGs carry honesty and truth as their main principles of life, not afraid to let other people know that they don't care, and believing that telling the truth is more important than your self-esteem.

SNAGs will lie that your outfit doesn't make you look fat. Do you really want this kind of person? Sucking up to you, never telling you the truth in fear of you being hurt. For instance, if you knew that he was having an affair and he lied to you, wouldn't you be hurt?

INAGs, on the other hand, don't give a shit! "Yes, you look fat in that. In fact, you are fat. Don't get angry at me over that, I'm still dating you over other, skinnier people, aren't I? Oh, and by the way, I'm making love to your little sister every weekend, sorry. It's not that I don't love you, she's just hotter."

...Sure they sound unappealing now, but you'll come to love it! Break up with your SNAG and find an INAG today.
INAGs will not be held responsible for any and all hurt feelings suffered due to their actions. By dating an INAG you acknowledge that it is their inherent nature to be completely honest regardless of whether you like it or not, and recognise that they are only the way they are because they either i) love you OR ii) don't love you and want to get rid of you.
Conditions apply.

Lambda

I have a love affair with that greek letter. It's awesome. It's like a triangle, you know. Except with no base.

I'm just talking shit here this is what I do when I'm bored. That, and doodle, and oh shit I promised myself I'd draw stuff and post it up.
I don't even hand in the homework I give myself, go figure.

Pencil time is now.

I'm not blogging from school!

Yeah I'm back home. Went to Charles' house to play shit and not do jian bao cough cough. Forza and Vegas are the two most ridiculous games in existence, in my world. Only Tom Clancy would help produce a game that in coop story mode lets you sit in a helicopter without any dialogue for the entire duration of a dialogue that would be there in single player story mode.

Thanks, Tom Clancy.

I'm blogging from school!

What I said!

okay I should be doing work

but short blogging break cause it just hit me: people in my school get retained for things such as not enough CIP hours or an unsatisfactory philosophy paper.

However there're people in the normal stream getting retained for actual bad grades. I mean, it doesn't make much sense to me if we're getting retained for something less consequential to our future jobs (unless we're philosophers or charity fund associates) while those in the normal stream are actually getting retained because their academic ability is low and they would not be able to find decent jobs otherwise.

We, on the other hand, are in the IP stream - I don't mean to sound complacent or elitist - and stand a fairly larger chance of landing a job even if we aren't as strong as compared to the rest of the IP cohort. Because it's the IP cohort. They're all smart.

Just because you're the low end of the top 10% in Singapore doesn't make you stupid, it makes you less smart than the top 9%. Which, by all accounts, is already very impressive.

So what the heck is going on with this retaining shit.

Bloggin'

I am bloggin' instead of doing my work. I've got to finish as many 剪报 as mentally possible in one day. Woo. But it's only 2 pm, so screw it. I imagine if I hand in some at least she'll give me more time to finish the rest.

Last night was Esperenza, the charity thing organized by those people from NYGH. It wasn't bad, that Phillip guy is damn pro, and the Rumplestiltskin skit was quite good; though the other 2 were shit. I also found Chinese dance better than their modern counterpart. Wei Yang, Bynes and Matthew Wong were freaking late, so they missed the first half - and the best part is that after I went out in the middle of Chinese dance to give Wei Yang his ticket, we came back in to see them finish and the emcees let us 'have a short break'.

When I heard some band from HC called 'My Bittersweet Addiction' was performing, being the critical bastard that I am, I lol'd. Of course, when one of your Primary school friends is one of them, it makes it that much harder for you to come up with insults. That what's-his-name (Yu something) singer/guitar guy was their saving grace - they weren't bad; they just weren't good. That's right, Choong Hsiong, your auto-tuning thing failed.

Peter Koh was also there helping out disabled people. What a nice guy. Damn blur, though. "Where's my bag?!"
(I was holding it.)

So that was last night. This night is full of Chinese homework. Shit.

This is quote

This is a quote meant for those people on the internet and MSN who think that quoting makes you sound intelligent.

Oh, snap!

Manliest man in the history of manly men. I want his babies.

I'll steal them, or some shit.

He even made me make a new label. That's the level of awesome he exudes.

People say

That I sound really emo and angsty over the internet. I don't deny that I sound that way, I'm just not. Because it's the internet.

The internet lacks a lot of things such as tone and body language and winking and middle fingering and slack-jawed disbelief; if you're judging me by what I sound like over the internet then...  don't.

No, I'm not going to use more caps or spam exclamation marks after the end of every sentence, nor am I going to overuse smilies or shorten the shit out of the English language just to sound more enthusiastic or pleasant or exciting or emotional or happy or whatever the hell it is I'm supposed to sound like. :)
Okay so I guess a smiley or two won't hurt. I just can't stand people who overuse them.

My caps lock button and exclamation marks are reserved for when I feel particularly cynical.

And I swear, if I hear Avery say 'fuck' one more time I'll fucking pop a fucking cap in his fucking sorry ass fucking fuck. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuckens.
Irony is the greatest form of comedy. Laugh, fucker.

Epiphany.

In case any of you so happened to be wondering why I don't often make long blog posts, the one before this would be my answer. I didn't know I could write so badly, damn.

Anyway, I just changed the blogskin because all that white was burning a hole through my retina. And for now I think I'll edit the last post to make it sound less like a 12 year old girl wrote it.

Justin's personal definitions

Rock

n. 1. The one that beats scissors
2. Rock and Roll

v. to rock, rocking: 1. To be awesome

Synonyms: Not you


Gullible

adj. 1. To be so incomprehensibly intelligent and witty that it almost stops becoming funny. Almost.

Synonyms: Green Bears


Blur

adj. 1. ...what?

Synonyms: Jonathan Lim


Development Hell

n. In ~: 1. The state of nearly existing, but not really.

Synonyms: Duke Nukem Forever; Your testicles; My art

Chingchang walawala bingbang

i don't understand how you all find content to blog with every day. I mean, my daily life is about as interesting as an orange. Not even an interesting orange, no, just an orange. Maybe even a dull orange.

So I figured that I'll try something different: I'll draw shit and put it up here. Because i can. Also, I'm an art student, if you didn't know by now; and if you didn't and also know me personally you should probably just go off yourself with the nearest sharp object you can find.

So I will draw something.

And I will post it.



Hopefully.

Today...

I have a new definition of pain.

Imagine having cramps 5 places in each leg, every one preventing you from stretching out the other cramps that you have. Now imagine having a twisted ankle, a twisted knee, a bruise on your ass and a headache stemmed from getting kicked in the head.

Now imagine feeling all of that at once.

ow.

I also now realise how someone landing on you isn't actually that painful at all, compared to... well, everything else.

SWAT bunnies

SWAT bunnies

http://threepanelsoul.com/view.php?date=2009-02-24

That's the original comic. Read that page and the 2 immediately afterwards; it will blow you away.

Now that that's out of the way

whipped cream is awesome. If all the milk in the world were replaced by whipped cream, i think the world would be a much happier place. the non-sweetened kind, of course, otherwise the world would also be a much more diabetic place.

(nearly) everything becomes better by adding whipped cream.
Ice cream
Milo dinosaurs
Cookies
Brownies
Milk
Smoothies
Milk Tea
Coffee
Water
Whipped cream
Sorbet
Fudge
and probably even sex. but I'll have to wait to try that.

Alright you cuntwads

I swear to fucking god that from now on if I hear, see or otherwise come to know of the existence of any sentence, phrase, idiom or saying that contains any one of my names or any sort of noun that represents any one of said names with the slightest connotation that I am homosexual, a pedophile, desperate(or really anything that I deem to be inexplicably annoying and untrue) - implicatively or explicitly, I will personally lobotomize the fucking son of a bitch who said, wrote or in any way coined that sentence, phrase, idiom or saying with the largest, bluntest, dirtiest, hardest and most potentially lethal object that I can physically lift at my immediate disposal.

And it doesn't matter whether you've read this or not, because I will beat your skull in regardless of whether or not you are aware that I wrote this.

This means, Jonathan Lim Qi Yang, that if you try and act stupider than you usually are and play very dumb with me I will verily hit your skull very forcefully with a very blunt, very hard object for a very, very very long time no matter how many times you deny reading this.

I don't know whether you genuinely think it or just want to fuck with me because I don't care and either way it's gone too fucking far. So fuck all of you. Especially the old, senile douchebag who sat behind me in the bus and wouldn't stop singing the same motherfucking song for the whole god damn ride home.

I thank God it didn't get stuck in my head. It was a terrible song.

Somebody fix this god forsaken internet

Blogging has become more of a pain in the ass than usual. Beyond the point where it becomes fun.

So I just dl'd the Magna Carta 2 game demo and I have to point out two major problems with it. Firstly, the demo is 5 minutes long. I know how they say they want to give you a taste, but this is like a drop of icing from a giant 200 kilo slice of lie(cake). I don't see how you're supposed to get a taste if whatever you're tasting is overwhelmed by the tidal wave of saliva coming from your frothing, dribbling excuse of a mouth.

Secondly, it's in Japanese. No subtitles, no nothing. Pure Japanese. In other words I spent half an hour(i have slow interwebs) downloading a demo that consisted of 5 minutes of Japanese; which, if you haven't realised by now, i don't understand a fucking word of. So I spend about 2 minutes flailing through what's supposed to be the tutorial wondering what the flipping fuck I'm supposed to be doing and fiddling around with the controls until it sends me to the next bit. Of tutorial.

And once I'm finally done guessing my way through all the controls, it finally throws me into a fight. Yay! I run around a bit getting used to fighting while delightfully beating the living shit out of these goat things that don't make biological sense, and it's fun, yes. Then I beat the shit out of this larger goat thing that carries bigger swords. Then the demo ends.

What.

Yes the fighting is fun.
Yes the chick with the low-cut, frilly white dress is total sex appeal.
Yes I'm interested, somehow.

BUT the fighting, at this point, is very bland and uninspired; consisting of wailing on some poor sod a few times before unleashing a chain attack and resetting your attack gauge. No doubt as with any other JRPG fighting will get more interesting but they didn't show us that, and what a smart idea that was.
FURTHERMORE, the chick with the low-cut, frilly white dress is - inevitably - nonexistent
WHILE whatever interest i have is more or less related to the above mentioned chick in the frilly white dress. Who throws balls of water at things. With her staff.

No euphemism there.

Of course i also want to see how the fighting pans out and actually understand what in hell the story's supposed to be about, but I don't have high hopes and more likely than not I'll just pass up this game. After a few years I've realised how much of a waste of money JRPGs are because you actually finish them. It's not like Halo where you play and play and play and kill and murder and shoot and splaser, no; You play once and nearly all of it's play value is completely benched. I'm not going to play through a second time, hell no. The only thing that would make me play again would be extra content, cause I'm like that; and real extra content, too, not just a slightly bigger and shinier sword or a slightly more revealing and frillier white dress.

EDIT: Given all that shit i just laid on, MCII does actually pique my interest a little. That, and the artwork is orgasmic. So sue me, I'm an artwork whore.

Public Enemies

Johnny Depp does not a good movie make. Learn your lessons now.

CHUN. WEE.

You'll never know what i wrote

It's alright, man, you did the manly thing. Don't emo.

Seriously, someone needs to fix this internet

Blogger's screwing up, facebook's screwing up, halo is screwing up.

...oh shit, I was gonna play Halo. kthxbye

But before that, the concert was awesome fun, yes. Great, awesome and fun. Many fun was being had at the time of which we were having fun on stage during the concert of fun and awesome and greatness. Nothing will ever top last year's FoA, of course, but it was great nonetheless.

Thanks for letting me stand on stage for so long, Amos. I feel famous now, I'm recognized as that guy who was stuck without a seat in the front row. Bitch.

Also, someone dropped the windchimes at the start of the Hisaishi medley. Made for some lol. But the one that everyone enjoyed the most would undoubtably be Godzilla: Janan + gorilla suit + crocodile costume head. Throughout the entire damned song I was trying my best not to laugh, which is a lot more difficult than it sounds, haha. Oh, lol, and apparently a lot of guys really, really enjoyed the Egyptian bit of the song. Heh. If you went, you'd know.

So, Halo, yes. I shall be playing now; and Li Jia. I think i don't need to say one lah.

I want to know

if there is somebody, anybody in the world who doesn't already know how to, yet is truly, genuinely willing or eager to learn how to play the clarinet.

Because after 4 years in band it's the only thing i can actually do. Given I'm not as good as Shaun Lim, but I think I can teach; I got Zhi Wei to do his running notes after everybody else couldn't, that's gotta count for something.

So if you know anybody. Like, really, anybody, because i don't think many people actually know what a clarinet looks like, let alone want to play it, and it would take a lot to find one.

Heck! They don't even need to -want- to, if you know any parents who wouldn't mind making their kids learn, I'm game.

Now find me clients.



Also, band FOA tomorrow. Godzillolz.

Stomp

is full of bored people who stick their nose in other peoples' business and really can't take a joke. I'm sure you've seen the report about the 'cyber-bullying' case.

K, we're secondary school students, for god's sake. We pull this crap all the time, it's just that you (stomper) don't realise it and make a big deal out of it. If I had to count the times I've called my friends names I'd need a spreadsheet, thanks. If they really wanted to terrorize him they'd put way worse crap on that photo, really, it's already mild as it is. They didn't call him an autistic shitface with nothing better to do than his literature homework and his sister. -That- would be insulting him.

Secondly, I'm sure the photo was limited to 'friends of friends only' because nobody bothers setting it to anything else. Which also means that it was probably meant to be private, and it was probably the kid's mother who made that stomp post because who else would be so kaypoh and take offense to something that trivial. Not just that, it really wouldn't have been such a big deal if that whoever just didn't post it on stomp. If it was left unreported, nobody would have cared or took notice; it's not that we defame the school, it's that they helped us do it. 18/08/09: Oh shit the default setting is everybody. So I was wrong, fine. Doesn't make the guy any less kaypoh, snooping around other peoples' photos.

Thirdly, I resent all the 'ACS(I) is full of immoral douchebags loluloloololul!!1!1!1one!' comments. Whoever the hell that was, don't tell me you've never pulled shit on your friends before, because I wouldn't believe you.

Finally, Charles, you're some lazy shit with crap taste for haircuts. OH NO I'M CYBERBULLYING QUICK STOMP REPORT ME.





If this ends up on Stomp I will laugh until my balls hurt. Thanks for proving me right, stomper (insert unimaginative stomper pseudoname here kthx).

P.S. I didn't post anything about national day and i feel bad cause I'm like that i guess. I don't dislike my country, just the people in it. Anyway, I really really wanted to spend pledge moment beating the crap out of people in Halo 3 while reciting it.
We, the citizens of Singapore, put the pwn on your sorry ass.

MY MILKSHAKE

Does not actually bring boys to the yard. It is very tasty, though.


mmmm, whipped cream.

anyway. Live is lively, yes, and I have found something i suck at more than Halo 3. Vegas 2.
Here's how it went when i tried playing online: spawn, die, spawn, die, spawn, kill, die, spawn, die, spawn, die, spawn, die, spawn, die, end match, spawn, die, spawn, die, spawn, kill, die, spawn, die, spawn, , die, spawn, die, spawn, kill, die, spawn, die, end match.

Rinse + repeat x3

Fucking Vegas.

LIVE

I has it.

I'm terrible at Halo 3.

wtf is up with blogger

my interface is screwed up. the hell.

furthermore! Assassin's Creed 2's limited pre-order edition comes with 3 extra, exclusive missions and other stuff i don't care about, but at more than 1 1/2 times the regular price. I hate it when companies do that, the "Exclusive content for console/region/whatever" thing; It just strikes me as incredibly unfair. Given, it is a collector's edition, but usually those just come with nifty boxes and commentaries and maybe an extra video, but giving exclusive game content makes me not happy. Didn't make me happy in Eternal Sonata, won't make me happy now.

the preorder site says it's like 70 pounds. British pounds. The ones that have the wtfhigh exchange rate with our dollar. So don't tell me i could 'just preorder it' because if i spend any more savings than necessary for the rest of this year I'll go into debt or some shit like that.

So enough of that, let's talk IHS.

...Oh shit, I have to finish my IHS.

If you've ever wondered

If you've ever wondered what it is with girls and vampires, this should sum it up quite nicely.

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=286

I agree.






Also I was just recently enlightened to the fact that 'fuck' was actually acronym for 'fornicating under consent of the king'. You probably didn't need to know that, but it's interesting, or something to that effect. Life is fueled by irony, I'm fueled by pointless facts.

Elephants are the only land mammals that can't jump.


Also, Emerson Wild: Monster Hunter.

http://emersonwild.com/


Also, Richard Hammond getting hypnotized was the funniest thing since Jamie Lynn Spears got pregnant.

Little Miss Muffet

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet,
Eating her curds and whey.

Then came a big spider
Who sat down beside her,
And frightened Miss Muffet away!

The poor little creature,
Just dropped by to greet her,
And so yelled "Please come back!"

He ran back home crying
And sorry for trying
Then died with a noose round his neck.




I need to illustrate this. srs.

Drum-fu

See, the reason why so many of us aren't very good with the drums is because we're not versed well enough with the art of Drum fu. Because everybody's so hung up on Guitarate or Aikeyboardo, and the novelty sort of dies after awhile. So, learn the drums.

EDIT: k Blogger is really screwed up. Also, TAG, YOU FAG. Yes I'm talking to you, DOUGLAS. I don't know anybody named Douglas but if one sees this i think it would've been worth it.

EDIT2: I also realised that everything posted after the first paragraph was full of shit and stretched the joke too thin, so I'll leave it like that.

It's 11.25 pm, I just finished my IHS and I'm so screwed for art.

OH WELL SUCK IT LIFE, AT LEAST I FINISHED MY IHS WHUOARGH.
sup gaiz.

I still need to sell 5 FoA tickets for band. they're like 10 bucks each, and I guess I could give some discount since I'm desperate like that.

15th August, Saturday, 7.30 pm at Anglo Chinese School (Independent)'s Tan Chin Tuan Auditorium (which i think is the suck one.)

I know I sound terribly desperate in the non-hormonal sense but... well yeah, actually. Come on! Bring family, friends, boyfriend, girlfriend, guyfriend, gayfriend, lesbofriend, bifriend all kinds of friends can. and even if you aren't interested, doesn't mean other people won't be! Ask them if they'd like to go. For my sake. Cause you're -my- friends and you lurv me. Don't deny it, Charles.

We're playing pretty much movie soundtracks for the entire concert. Unfortunately all the John Williams pieces aren't in there anywhere cause we did that in Sec 1, but we have plenty of Joe Hisaishi(the dude who composes for Studio Ghibli), including a Totoro medley, and I'm still bargaining for Spirited Away. the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy, Godzilla, Enchanted, among other titles that may be less known are all being played. The IB band is playing Star Wars, the practices for which I haven't gone at all so they're either kicking me from playing that piece or I'm quite royally screwed.

Either way, there's going to be a song that you will like. Whether you've heard of the movie before or not, whether you're asleep or staring at me and waiting for me to screw up (or just ogling at my awesomeness), you're going to like something that night and it will be worth it. More worth it than drama, at least.
Buy tickets.
I give discounts, yes.

right, so i can post now

and I'm very sleepy

I got a new phone today, finally. Though I liked my old one, it managed to delete its entire applications folder by itself. Iunno. So, the Samsung S8003, full touch screen, wifi, bluetooth, 3.5g, all that jazz, but I'm telling you that in half a year it's going to have the battery life of a damselfly. It also has like 2.5 gigs of memory left which is probably going to fill up very quickly. So you all know what to get me for my birthday now.

For all those daft people out there (who also have money): an 8 gig miniSD memory card kthx.

screw it, though, it's nifty. My only real qualm is that the iPhone manages to outdo it in processing power, cause when I run too many apps it lags itself to hell. This includes not being able to view full facebook, so I'm stuck with the shitty mobile internet facebook which doesn't show all the fun and stupid application stuff. I'm gonna get MSN on this thing and see how that pans out.

oh, right, it can only hold one phone strap. And i got this stylus phone strap thing, so there's no space for my mouse, which grieves me. I must have the mouse.
also, the phone pouch they gave me makes little to no sense.







meh, stupid stripped down mobile facebook. at least i can read fml.

P.S.: Oh and Android (the Google phone OS) is bleeding cool. My phone doesn't run off it but I saw one that did and got to try it out. I think they made the mistake of equating simplicity to being plain, though, so, meh.

P.P.S.: By that I mean that the icons would look more sophisticated if a monkey slung shit at a plain blue towel, and that it's got more grey than the combined brains of every mensa member who ever existed.

P.P.P.S.: In case you didn't get that last (bad) analogy: Grey matter.

P.P.P.P.S.: Yes, it was a terrible pun. Fuck off.

I think Blogger's cocked itself up somehow, I can't post anything except the title. Hi, mom!

EDIT: Meh, well now there's this tiny little box on the bottom left of my screen which i can type in. Good enough?

I think I'll wait for them to fix it.

Good morning, life.

I haven't updated this bugger for a long time, so today I'm going to tell you about the two movies I watched within the past month and how terrible they were.

Transformers 2 was bollocks, it rolled down the hillside of awesome, past the rock of plots-that-actually-have-a-point and headlong into the valley of why-the-hell-did-i-just-watch-that. Transformers 1 still remains as one of my favourites, because it was genuinely funny and the plot carried really well. At least they stuck to the same few characters throughout the movie. The sequel is just really draggy with way too much giant-robot-crushing for its own good, while the humour is sort of dry and uninvited.

As for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, I haven't actually read the book so I can't really comment on it as an adaptation. Still, it's really obvious that they cut out a shit load of content due to J.K. Rowling being obsessive compulsive and adding so much detail into the books that they doubled in size within 5 volumes. If anything, the movie was just incredibly indecisive. It can't decide whether it wants to be a story about magic, school, terrorism, or romance. The bigger portion of it was actually the last of those few, making it seem like a love story with the main plot doomed to sit and watch from the bench, only called up when the romantic quarterback breaks a leg in the third quarter. Everything else is stretched really thin, with all the slice-of-life bits that I loved about the first 3 movies cut out and each term lasting only slightly more than half an hour.

I think the bit which annoyed me the most was that the movie had nearly nothing to do with the half-blood prince at all. Considering that it's the name of the fucking book, it only got short cameo during the book and potions class scenes before suddenly being brought up oh so briefly again when SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE.
For those who haven't read or watched it yet, awww, I just spoiled it for you. Not my problem, bitch.

But heaven forbid, even after all that complaining about its plot, whatever bits that they didn't cut out from the book the size of my laptop were actually entertaining - the stupid Ron, Lavender and Luna bits never failed to amuse me, along with several other little funny parts of which I can't remember right now. All in all, it was better than I thought it would be.



But Emma Watson Didn't appear enough. Those bastards.

They are the true prophets.

THIS IS THE BBC.

BOOP. BOOP. BOOP. BOOP. BOOP. BOOP. BOOP. BOOP.

Oh, June 19th.

> you.

Ohhhh yeah. Was good to see everyone again, but it was bloody retarded, hahaha. I kena my own forfeit for indian poker and had to play the penis game.

I look like a sod.

I still can't get over the fact that I got nearly, if not all the girls with 'I have never shaved'.

lol legs.

FAQ.

So i herd u liek mudkips?
Yes. Yes I do.

Are you feeling lucky, punk?
Not particularly, no.

Is this a dead man, doctor?
Very dead, Mr. Spock.

So a Priest, a Rabbi and a whale walk into a bar. What does the whale say?
Ooooooooooooooooo.

Was that real manure?
No.

What happen?!
Somebody set up us the bomb!

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?
How the fuck would I know?

Do you mind telling me what you're doing on that ship?
Finishing your fight.

Why do you always have to jump?
'Cause

What you say?!
Ok enough of that.

You ever wonder why we're here?
It’s one of life’s great mysteries isn’t it? Why are we here? Are we the product of some cosmic coincidence, or is there a god watching everything? You know, with a plan for us and stuff. I don’t know, man. But it keeps me up at night.

How many roads must a man walk down before he's considered a man?
It's a rhetorical question.

Did you know...
No.

What colour is your hair?
Why do you care?

How heavy are you?
Not enough.

Tall?
I refuse to answer to an incomplete sentence.

Are you attached?
No, I'm quite free to move.

Briefs or boxers?
You perverse fuck.

Forgive me?
Hell no.


These questions are ridiculous, send in better ones.

When making a sexist joke, make another.

So this morning i wrote a particularly long article about how i thought women were great big dicks about things. If you don't see the irony there nothing will ever help you.

So in fear of being chastised I'm going to complain about men now, though I'll have you know that it's going to be significantly shorter than the previous post.

We're an awful lot of stupid idiots, really. That's about it.

P.S.: And to reiterate what i said last time, just because I sound like a prick doesn't necessarily mean I am one. Though, it may. I just don't see why I have to sugar-coat everything i say to make it G-rated and friendly to all those sad bastards who soap their tongues at the word "damn". I tell it like it is and it's the likeness which I like to tell, 'cause real life's the only thing that's truly funny; you would know, with your life being so sad. hahaha. haha. ehh.

= ?

I'm imagining Mick Jagger singing Led Zeppelin. It's making hilarious things in my head. hahahahahahahah.

So what I'm doing right now is postponing work cause I'm a lazy bum like that. This post is otherwise completely pointless, or at least until I think of something to talk about.












eh, nope. nothing. nevermind.

The list of games that i want,

it's getting longer. And my wallet isn't getting any larger to accommodate. Screw. All you bastards with your pirating all your games, I actually pay for mine. It's people like you who screw over the economy. Yeah, this whole thing is your fault. Asshole.

You know what I don't get the most about game pirates? Those who go to competitions and earn money from gaming. I mean, imagine you go work for, say, Microsoft. You become an executive and earn some ridiculous pay for doing absolutely nothing, but instead of buying your computers, you steal all of them.
Like spending absolutely no money on your wife but showering the girl you're cheating with with jewelry.

Jackass.

Meh, anyway, Starcraft 2 announced at the end of this year. Ch'yeah right, I'm sure. But who knows? Maybe Blizzard will deliver on time for once in their record.

Diablo 3 i'll safely assume will come out early 2011.

So to keep me occupied till then will be Assassin's Creed 2 and Bioshock 2. And Rune Factory. Maybe Prototype. And Lost Planet 2. And Splinter Cell. And one of the new Halo titles, maybe.





I need a job.

P.S. : I just got Rainbow Six Vegas 2. It's fucking awesome. Though, you know, I suck shit at it.

You can't hurry love, oh you just have to wait.

I forgot the lyrics to the fourth line of the chorus so somehow when i sang it today the line ended with 'masturbate'.
...huh.

Whoa, hey, anyway, it's probably your first time here because -nobody ever comes here-.

so it's 4 am in the morning and everybody knows that when you're half-awake you start to do really stupid things like turning off the private setting on your blog and deleting all your old posts.

oh wait, shit, did i do that?

screw it, also, also, our school's festival of arts (foa) is coming soon. For all of you who don't get it, it means the band's having a concert, so i need people to buy my tickets. Nobody ever buys my tickets besides maybe my old friends and my classmates, but that's only because it's compulsory for them.
you're all selfish, stingy jerks.
so -what- if it's nearing O levels and/or in the middle of your term 3 exam week. There's no 'I' in frie--

... there's no reason you can't take a little break and listen to us play and otherwise do things that are potentially hazardous to our reputation on stage. Jerks.


Jerks.


I need a new tagboard, god damn it.