People say

That I sound really emo and angsty over the internet. I don't deny that I sound that way, I'm just not. Because it's the internet.

The internet lacks a lot of things such as tone and body language and winking and middle fingering and slack-jawed disbelief; if you're judging me by what I sound like over the internet then...  don't.

No, I'm not going to use more caps or spam exclamation marks after the end of every sentence, nor am I going to overuse smilies or shorten the shit out of the English language just to sound more enthusiastic or pleasant or exciting or emotional or happy or whatever the hell it is I'm supposed to sound like. :)
Okay so I guess a smiley or two won't hurt. I just can't stand people who overuse them.

My caps lock button and exclamation marks are reserved for when I feel particularly cynical.

And I swear, if I hear Avery say 'fuck' one more time I'll fucking pop a fucking cap in his fucking sorry ass fucking fuck. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuckens.
Irony is the greatest form of comedy. Laugh, fucker.